After I was Diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes I grieved and ended up with depression and anxiety because of the demands of the disease, if you read Canadian diebetes website you will find on there about depression and grief of the person with diabetes. I also loss my mom to cancer 3 years after my diagnosis which nearly killed me and mean it physically almost killed me because I have depression from the diabetes, and anxiety I took I soooo hard I was hospitalized.
So very shocking. My councellor I have been seeing said you have been through a lot in 6 years no wonder you feel the way you do. Michele Paulk September 12, at am Reply. This can occur either immediately following the death or be revealed over time. Especially when found items tangible and online information bank accounts, emails from lovers, etc.
If anyone knows of resources for someone dealing with a death like this, please post about it. Mare July 2, at am Reply.
Last year was the year that did me in. My father-in-law died suddenly in April of He was 92, was strong, active and in good health. Then one night in October, my husband who is not in great health, fell at home which scared the life out of me.
At the same time, another cat ran outside. She was found the next morning—she had been hit and killed by a car—something that haunts me to this day. We have no children and our cats were our family. Then in November a brother died. I and another brother had been estranged from him because of abusive behavior when he drank which was all the time—every day.
You see, it brought back all of the previous losses in my life. My mother died 52 years ago when I was 13 there were no grief counselors then, so my grief went unresolved for a long time. A sister-in-law died of cancer when she was 38, my nephew died in his sleep at age 34, the nicest brother I had died 26 years ago at 47 of brain cancer, and my dad died that same year, and my wonderful mother-in-law died at age 62 over 30 years ago. The losses started early in my life, and we now have almost no one left.
Now, a year later, I still miss my father-in-law and my 2 cats and think about them every single day. I have been told that I am dealing with ambiguous loss my missing cat and cumulative grief. While I am better than I was last year I cried for months and was unable to function at all , I still can find no joy in life. I stay up all night, and sleep all day I am retired.
I rarely leave the house. I have gone to church, prayed, talked to a grief counselor, participated in online sessions, and read tons of books on grief. I am wondering if I will ever fully recover and be able to enjoy life again, and if so, how long it will take.
Mimi September 6, at am Reply. CJackson January 1, at pm Reply. November , I was 43 and lost my 69 year old mother. She had cancer, but fell down bumped her head, she died because the doctor refused to treat her.
My 80 something year old Aunt fell bumped her head the doctors patched her up, she lived for 7 or 8 more years. Every November until this past November I have been a wreck. I bury it, hide it but I would break down when no one was around. My brothers children three boys 24, 21, 18 and girl 19, then they raised a young cousin Ages are as of May We were a very close group.
I got dressed and started to drive the 50 minutes to my brothers house not knowing for sure what as up. All I knew is my sister in law and her girls had passed a wreck on the way to take the oldest girl to work. We are devastated. My boys are torn up. We buried my newphe, then in July his brother got married, that was a good day. September , for more reasons than I can explain, my husbands oldest daughter That I helped and mothered since she was 5 took her own life leaving three young children in a mess.
Also, leaving my husband and I on the outside because of his ex wife causing us to not see the children like we used too.
I just read all you posted on here and understand that our losses in death and relationships are great. My sister in law and brother have grown distance. We have lost these three grandchildren if the daughters mother who ruined the daughters life gets custody so she can ruin three more lives. Strangely, with the loss of my beloved newphe my grief over my mother has leveled out.
I have walked through all stages of grief over these losses. The grief over my stepdaughter is stalled at anger, angry for her leaving things messed up like they are. For leaving these three children that loved her so much.
Grief over my newphe is still heartbreak. But the mere fact that we suffered such devastation right behind each other in the same year worries me for my children. And hearing other people being judgmental over my sister in laws grief a mother grieving for her oldest son. Is very hurtful. The last part of this I will add, I understand all of this, my husbands oldest son died. I loved the boy dearly and cried every year In September for many years.
I still feel pain for him, eleven years old, but the pain dulls, it gets less sharp, but it takes each person the amount of time they need to get to this place. Once again I feel the pain and hear the murmurs. I feel pity for them because they too will someday know this pain. Peggy October 11, at am Reply. I am an only child. Always have been. I took a leave of absence to care for him. He was in hospice care for 2 days. I blame myself for leaving to go home, get clothes, shower and do a few housework chores while he had company, because he died while I was gone.
My step dad, was my dad 2. She was in a room next to my stepdad. I spent 36 hrs going from room to room, all the while trying to reach my son. For 2 days before my stepdad died, I had been unable to reach my son who was extremely close to my parents. Passing each drug test given. Upon my stepdads death, I sent my husband home to see if he could find my son.
I was also hyper scared for my mom to be out of my sight should she collapse again. I was told to come home NOW. My son was dead. They took him to our house,and dumped him off like a bag of trash..
So, without flinching, crying, or anything, I told my mom something was wrong with my son, and I had to go. That i would call her as soon as I could. My aunt and uncle walked out to the car with me, and i told them, but made them swear not to say a word. After i got to the local hospital, I had called my mom, and told her to come to the hospital. I had arrived at the hospital, explained it to the ER staff, and had my mom brought to the back, where I had to tell her her grandson was dead.
I lost my dad and my son on the same day about 14 hrs apart. They had their funerals together. I hear my dad call my name or i jump at a noise. Lights trigger headaches, i cant get the image out of my head, i have panic attacks and break out in a sweat and shake.. Nightmares, and on and on. I can not find someone who will listen and explain to me what is wrong with me.. I hurt, i grind my teeth so bad I break them, and yet through it all, I still do not allow myself to get upset in front of my mom for fear she will collapse and die.
I blame myself for my son. What type of grief category do I fit in? Thank you.. Eleanor Haley October 11, at am Reply. Hey Peggy, after hearing everything as well as the symptoms you are experiencing, my first question is — have you spoken to a therapist who specializes in trauma? Ingrid November 9, at pm Reply. I am so sorry you have gone through so much so quickly.
As someone who has been dealing with various types of grief, including anticipatory grief, I know that trying to figure out where you belong is hard. But there is no one area that a person can be when dealing with grief, my psychologist at my university told me that when I first started seeing her last year.
Melissa Doyle September 13, at pm Reply. Hi my name is Melissa on May 28, , just under four months ago I found my husband who had hanged himself from the rafters of our camp house porch.. After the initial screaming and crying out to God It seems like I went into shock for about weeks. I was even able to speak at his memorial. Anyone who knows me , knows it took a great amount of strength to do that. You see I had already been diagnosed with and chronic depression and anxiety disorder years before any of this took place.
During this phase of shock I was able to take care of necessary paper work such life insurance, etc.. After I received the life insurance and k checks I was able to pay off my house and my vehicle, taking those stresses away.
It was then things started to hit me. My 54 year old husband is gone. I have no job, no insurance and no soulmate. Flashbacks of finding him flood my mind. I cant stand thunderstorms we were having bad weather that night.
Every time lighting flashes at night I see his face, his limp body and feel his cold skin. All I can hear is the operator telling me not to cut him down, not to cover him up, and not to touch him until the police completed there investigation. Because of the weather the police units go stuck and I had to sit alone with my husbands body for over thirty minutes until they arrived. After they took their pictures, gathered information and questioned me. I had to ask them if I could cover him up.
So once again I was left alone with my husbands cold lifeless body. I said my goodbyes and I held him until my children were finally able to reach me by walking over 2 miles through the mud and rain. That is when I lost it.
I have trouble going to sleep because I replay those events over and over. We had a great day so none of it makes senses. I take an antidepressant, two different anxiety pills and a sleeping pill along with my other prescriptions for high blood pressure, diabetes and thyroid disease.
I increasingly feel the depression taking hold. The hardest part is being irritable around my grand children so I find myself isolating from them. I went to my psychiatrist and he prescribed me an allergy pill to help me fall asleep. My primary doctor took me off of that and put me on the second anxiety medication that does help a lot with the sleep. Bonnie Shannon November 8, at pm Reply.
I do the same thing, I found my Husband hanging and it happened with me in the house, but it was AEA. I fear I am in seasonal depression about this, but it hurts, lost my dog almost 6 months to the day after my Husband. I miss him, he was good except for one bad habit.
Everything bad happens in November my birth month , hurts still, can I get over this? I am in warmer climate. Nan September 19, at am Reply.
Hi Melissa, Just saw your post on Sept 19, My heart aches for you in your tragic loss. Suffering from horror can be unbearable but there is a specialized therapy called EMDR that get help you recover from the horro and trauma. Jace Wong January 4, at am Reply. Shortly after, i lost my brother 32 on 4th week of Nov Now from time to time, i breakdown by myself crying but i cant really cry out loud as i fear it might stress my parents or my friends.
I am either losing sleep or sleep too much weekends and didnt feel like working at all. Feels like i am out of function. And recently, when people talk to me, i dont realize or i didnt hear them at all… Am i in a mess? Donna Maske August 2, at pm Reply. NCGal July 15, at pm Reply. Mardelle May 13, at pm Reply. Hi Kim, Sorry for the loss of your mom. Everyone is different, therefore everyone handles and copes with grief very differently.
There are no steadfast tracks that say either way anything. You did say you have a dissociative disorder, if your taking any kind of medication for this, it can also have an effect on your emotions. Hope you have lots of loved ones and friends near you during this time. Sometimes we laugh so hard we will have a little cry too.. Hope my thoughts are able to help you. With Peace and Light, Mardelle. Kim Thomas May 13, at pm Reply.
My mother just died on May 1st There have been moments of tears, but no cracking open into full bereavement. I do have a dissociative disorder. I always have a delayed reaction to emotional things. I did have some depressive very slow non functioning days last week. Many family members will try to envision their life without that person and mentally play out possible scenarios, which may include grief reactions and ways they will mourn and adjust after the death.
Anticipatory mourning includes feelings of loss, concern for the dying person, balancing conflicting demands and preparing for death. Anticipatory mourning is a natural process that enables the family more time to slowly prepare for the reality of the loss. Grief experienced after a sudden, unexpected death is different from anticipatory mourning.
Even though one may be able to acknowledge that loss has occurred, the full impact of loss may take much longer to fully comprehend than in the case of an expected loss. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Paste as plain text instead. Only 75 emoji are allowed. Display as a link instead. Clear editor. Upload or insert images from URL. Posted February On the path of healing these collective wounds facing, accepting, naming and griefing the losses would be a crucial step.
Posted November 17, I had no idea about the different types of grief, so I definitely learned something today! I've just realised that many of the 'symptoms' of grief sound and feel like depression. Is there perhaps an overlap? What helps a lot for me is to be able to talk about the people or pets who are no longer here, feel heard and supported, and share memories.
Posted July 10, I'm not sure which one I have or if I have more than one, but I know I have at least one of these and I'm not dealing with it well, I've lost family, friends, pets, and even an object and I've never dealt with it properly I've always pretended it didn't happen.
But it did and I'm going to try and get better because I want to and need to, and I feel like if I get better the people and pets I lost will be happy for me and I'll be able to finally move on, maybe just maybe, but I'll definently try no matter what. Posted December 3, Really interesting article, I didn't realize there were some many different types of grief. I think we often forget that the grieving process isn't only relate to death.
I've also heard people comment on how others 'didn't cry' or 'posts way too much about it on social media', and I think it's so important to keep in mind that everyone grieves differently and has their own process to go through. What might seem exaggerated or 'cold' to you, is exactly what someone else needs based on the type of grief they're experiencing.
Choosing kindness over negativity or indifference may not be our default reaction, but we can cultivate it over time through consistent action. There have been many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during October. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to. We all spend too much time 'in our heads' now and again. But overthinking regularly can be detrimental to our mental health if those thoughts are.
The festive season is a wonderful — but wasteful — time of year. Dee Marques shares 10 top practical ways on how you can have a more sustainable and. By prislee , June 22 in Loss, grief, death, dying, mourning, suffering and loneliness - a part of life. By davidwilcox , April 25 in Mental health and physical challenges: How to diagnose, deal with, live with and heal from them. More sharing options While we will all experience grief at some point in our lives, you may not even realise you're experiencing the emotion, as it's usually only connected with death.
In fact, there are many different types of grief, as Dee Marques explains
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